The story of F. between family problems and prejudices at work: “When I was twenty I dressed as a woman and I said: this is me”
No emotional support: his family she lives far from her and has never been interested in her path that will lead her to become a full-fledged woman.
Over the years, within the walls of her home, she had to deal with a deep-rooted unhappiness that did not allow her to be herself. They had advised her to hide and not to attract too much attention. A situation that to F., with the passage of time, began to feel too tight. She today she lives in Home + and dreams of being able to be a hairdresser and no longer have customers and passers-by look at them. And she hopes, one day, to be able adopt a childto whom to give all the love that she has been denied.
Woman in a man’s body: the story of F., welcomed at Casa +
We meet F. (we will identify her this way to preserve her privacy) inside the courtyard of Home +, where he has lived for almost a year. The first impression of her is immediately that of a sunny girl, strong, determined, ready to do anything to be respected. And she really is. Because in telling her story about her she confronts us with lived experiences that led her to become the woman she is today. Situations in which she, without support, often alone, she had to face being away from home, one almost absent family and the awareness of being within a body it does not recognize. F. was born a man, but she always felt like a woman. Already at the age of six, when she began to understand that her “boyish” clothes did not belong to her, she and her preferred make-up and dolls to toy cars.
“I thought I was gay, my family was asking me to hide”
But her situation didn’t seem clear to her right away. At first it was her fear that overwhelmed her: “I convinced myself that I was a gay boy because being a transsexual terrified me and I didn’t really know it ”. Her family, at first, even gave her their okay by saying: “You can be gay in bed, on your own, but in normal life you have to play the part of the straight“, But honestly I never knew how to do the actress” – the girl comments. She did not belong to that world and she decided to start giving a name to what she had been carrying inside her for years: she was a woman in a man’s body who wanted to start the transition path. She left home, she started working in a hairdressing shop, but she tells little about the family she left behind. The parents no longer wanted to know anything about her desire to change gender: “Sometimes they call me but via cell phone, so they don’t see how I am now” – He tells us.
The turning point came when I was twenty and I said to myself “Finally this is me”
F. has decided to change city, to create a life far from that family that would have wanted it to be “different” and finally discovers herself. “At the age of twenty I was finally able to recognize myself: I started dressing totally as a woman, I looked in the mirror and one day I liked it so much that I said: ‘This is me. Finally this is me ‘“.
Prejudices at work: “There are those who avoid me and prefer other colleagues to me”
Changing environment and city, however, he had to deal with a reality not very different from the one he came from: themselves prejudices, same looks and sharp looks. F. is a hairdresser and early days she had decided to present herself to others as a gay boy, for fear of not being accepted and understood. Now, after some time, and with the transition already underway, she decided to show herself and dress as a woman, just how it feels. But she started noticing gods changes among the customers of the salon: “When employers hear that you are a trans girl they make a little more trouble because you are not well regarded and I have noticed a marked change in the ladies who look at me in a different way as well. If I introduce myself as a “gay boy”, everything is fine; “but if I say I’m F. and I’m a trans girl ”they start to look weird“. It has often happened that, although she presented herself with a feminine name, she was always called in the masculine “How to do it on purpose” – reiterates.
Street harassment on the agenda
In Italy, it is difficult to unhinge preconceptions, just as it is complex to be able to live your daily life peacefully on public transport, on the street, alone or in the crowd, when you are a trans girl. F. she does not seem at all upset when she tells us that in everyday life she is forced to be harassed: “They ruin my day, but by now I’m used to it.” There are those who approach and try to have an approach with her, those who look at her badly, those who point to her and wink at her. All situations that make her uncomfortable and do not make her feel safe.
The future? I would like to adopt a child and teach him respect for others
There are those who tell her that today transsexuals are luckier than in the past: they have associations ready to help them, just like Home +, specialized centers you can refer to in order to be supported in the transition. It is true, but for F. it is shameful even to think that in 2022 there is still a need to help people who simply want to be themselves.
He often thinks about the future and would like to be able to get some normality, even establishing himself in his work. Create a familythen, is the second step and, maybe even adopt a child: “I feel the need to give love”. “What would you teach your son or daughter first?” – we ask. He replies: “The respect And the equality of all. I would make him understand that everything he is having must not be taken for granted because there are people in the world who do not have it “.
Photo source: Italian Red Cross
Casa +, the Red Cross home for LGBT youth
Home + is the place where young who are part of the community LGBTaged between 18 and 30 yearsthey manage to find refuge and support following negative experiences that led them to move away from their family. The Red Cross project was born in 2016, together with another partner, to meet the needs of protection for victims of homotransphobia and discriminated personsand evolves, in April 2021, into Home +a safe haven that offers free hospitalityand where it is possible to play educational and work inclusion paths.
Here, the boys *, like F., are helped through individual and concrete interventions that are substantiated in the resource recovery and social reintegrationundertaking paths of personal and professional growthwith the aim of making them completely autonomous and capable of returning to fly alone.
How can I access Casa +? It is possible to get in touch with Casa + CRI operators through the toll-free number 800 065510or through messages WhatsApp at the phone number 370 1288375active from Monday to Saturday, from 8:00 to 20:00.
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